Introduction
There are many misconceptions around this phrase. Some in the field of therapy don’t like it because they feel threatened, “if everyone just heals themselves, then I don’t have a job!” Some therapists don’t like it for more altruistic reasons that those who need extra support might feel shame and avoid professional help, “If I have to heal myself, what’s the point in going to a therapist?” Others realize that self-healing simply means the individual has personal autonomy and can develop more self-trust.
The fact is that each person – as a human – is their own ultimate authority ✴️ Each individual has personal responsibility for their growth and development, their improvement, and finally their own healing processes.
This does NOT mean you never seek support, assistance or professional help.
An Analogy
I love using analogies to help improve understanding and I use them frequently in session. So, for this topic, think about the body itself. It’s actually a self-healing organism.
It has ways to repel germs and disease, it can be self-protective in how it forms defenses against illness, it has ways to detoxify itself, and it has inherent reparative properties as wounds heal. All of this, however, does not mean you just avoid medical support when needed.
Self-healing doesn’t mean you heal in isolation. It means you get all the support you need in order to facilitate the internal process of healing and growth.
Tips & Activities for Self-Healing
- Acknowledge Your Pain: The first step towards healing is acknowledging that you have wounds that need attention. Denial only prolongs the healing process and increases suffering. Be honest with yourself about what hurts and why it hurts. Journaling can help with this insight.
- Seek Professional Help: Therapy and counseling can provide a safe space to explore your emotions and past experiences. Professional guidance can help you develop strategies for managing and overcoming your pain. It’s key to understand that having someone help you in your healing is part of “self-healing.” No one can do the work but you, and you can also have support along the way.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Recognize that healing is a process, not a destination, and it’s okay to have setbacks.
- Identify Triggers: Understanding what triggers your pain or activated responses can help you manage your reactions. Once you identify these triggers, you can work on developing healthier responses.
- Develop Healthy Coping Skills: Once you realize the triggers, work at replacing unhealthy or ineffective habits with effective ones. Any skills can be misused, to explore how you can moderately use healthy tools.
- Set Boundaries: Protect your emotional well-being by setting boundaries, or self-respecting limits with yourself and learn how to communicate those to others. This might mean limiting time with toxic individuals or saying no to situations that cause you stress.
- Cultivate a Support System: Surround yourself with people who support your healing journey. Having friends or family members who encourage you can make a significant difference.
- Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness (self-awareness) and meditation can help you stay grounded, connected to yourself, and present. Over time, these practices can reduce stress and improve your overall mental health.
- Engage in Self-Reflection: Regularly take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Self-reflective journaling can help you understand yourself better and identify areas that need attention.
- Embrace Radical Acceptance: Radical Acceptance is not the same as forgiveness, and I find it’s more powerful. It doesn’t mean condoning harmful behavior or experiences, but it can help you 1) identify healthy emotions and coping skills necessary in life, and 2) release anger and resentment.
- Prioritize Physical Health: Your physical health is closely linked to your mental well-being. Ensure you’re getting enough sleep, hydrating properly, eating a balanced diet, and staying active.
- Set Realistic Goals: Set achievable goals for your healing process. Celebrate small victories and recognize that healing is a journey, not a destination. The WOOPS goal format is ideal for this.
- Stay Patient and Consistent: Healing takes time and effort – in all honesty, it’s a life long journey. Be patient & self-compassion while also staying committed to your journey, even when progress seems slow or you experience setbacks.
By taking these steps, you can begin to heal from past wounds and develop a stronger, healthier emotional foundation of self-trust and healthy connections.
Remember, self-healing is an ongoing process and it doesn’t mean you do it all alone.
If you desire support with any of this, reach out to me at shannan@sbmftservices.com. I do all of these elements at various points in the work of helping others heal and I have client openings currently.
In Health & Wholeness ❤️
Shannan
