Introduction
The role of a “healer” is a profound and noble one, but it is often misunderstood. Many assume that healers have transcended the challenges they help others overcome. However, the reality is quite different. Healers often step into their roles because they have experienced significant suffering and trauma themselves. This journey gives them unique insight and empathy but does not make them immune to the very struggles they help their clients navigate.
Marsha Linehan, creator of DBT, has a favorite quote about healers which she provides to each of her graduating students and fellows as they complete their time with her, and it reads:
“Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty and sadness…Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words.” (Letters from a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke).
I have always found that quote to be so validating.
The Myth of the All-Knowing Healer
For those who haven’t yet come to this realization, there remains a common misconception that healers “have it all together.” Clients may see their healer as a beacon of stability and wisdom, forgetting that healers are human too, with their own vulnerabilities and ongoing battles. The truth is that healers often face the same traumas and difficulties as their clients, especially during times of widespread crisis such as a pandemic, economic downturns, or global upheaval.
The Dual Struggle: Healers and Their Own Trauma
Healers are not exempt from experiencing trauma, and they often find themselves dealing with secondary trauma as they support clients through resolution of traumatic experiences. This can lead to emotional fatigue and burnout if not addressed properly.
One of the goals I have as a professional is to provide a loving, safe space for other healers. At this point in the blog, I’ll be speaking directly to those healers out there. So, if you’re a healer, here are some ways I offer support for you in your journey:
1) Holding Professional Boundaries: I can support you in maintaining clear professional boundaries so you protect your emotional and mental well-being. This ensures you can provide effective support to your clients without becoming overwhelmed.
2) Validation and Resolution of Secondary Trauma: Acknowledging the secondary trauma you experience is the first step towards resolution. Providing space where you can express and process these emotions without judgment is crucial for your own healing and remaining centered for your clients.
3) Processing Support for Counter-Transference: Countertransference, where you project your own unresolved issues onto a client, is a common occurrence. Offering support to process these feelings can help you maintain clarity and effectiveness in your practice.
4) Affirming Space for Personal and Ongoing Healing: As a healer, it’s vital that you prioritize your own healing experience as well. This includes setting aside time for personal reflection, getting support through therapy or coaching, and engaging in activities that promote your well-being.
The Continuous Journey of Inner Work
Consistent inner work is not just beneficial; it is essential for you to be effective in your healing role. When you actively engage in your own healing process, you’ll have the ability to offer deeper empathy and more authentic support to your clients because. Your lens will less cluttered than of you don’t do your own work.
You will be ‘better healer’ if you are consistently doing your own inner work.
By acknowledging and embracing your own healing needs, you can model resilience and authenticity, fostering a deeper connection with your clients.
Conclusion
Healers, you’re like everyone else in this way: you are also on your own journey of healing. You often have unique insights into suffering because you have walked that path, too. It is vital to recognize that you, too, need support, validation, and space to heal. By supporting healers in maintaining professional boundaries, resolving secondary trauma, processing counter-transference, and affirming your ongoing healing, I support your ability (and our collective ability) to provide the compassionate care that is so needed in the world.
Remember, your strength as a healer lies not in the absence of struggle, but in the continuous journey of healing and growth. If you need some added support, please reach out to me: shannan@sbmftservices.com and I assure you our work will remain confidential.
In Healing, Health, & Wholeness
Shannan
